Shit happens

Shit is in the eye of the beholder.

• Taoism: Shit happens.
• Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
• Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
• Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
• Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
• Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
• Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
• Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
• Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again.
• Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
• Capitalism: That's MY shit.
• Communism: It's everybody's shit.
• Feminism: Men are shit.
• Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
• Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
• Surrealism: Shit is shiny and shaped like a buick.
• Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
• Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
• Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
• Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
• Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
• Atheism: I don't believe this shit.
• Altruism: Want some shit?

P.S: I feel like shit!